Tuesday, September 20, 2011

"Don't call it a comeback, comeback."

I'm back! I have been MIA for about a year. And as I just wrote that previous sentence I realized that it not only applies to this blog, but to my life. Let me catch you up on the past year and maybe that statement will make sense. I officially graduated from UT this August. I was pretty much done with school in May, minus a daunting online class that was a source of a lot of stress all summer. Despite that, I managed to graduate somewhat on time. After graduation, I was looking forward to getting my feet wet (I speak, and I guess write, in a lot of cliches-forgive me) by volunteering and working and deciding what I want to do now that I was free from the institution that made up my life for the last 17 years. My last semester of college was a particularly difficult one and I was ready for a long, fun filled break. I had it all planned out; I would volunteer, do tons of fun activities that school seemed to always interfere with (no, not just partying), and be on my way to being the person I wanted to be. But in typical fashion, all of my planning left me with yet another let down. See, I've discovered a theme in my life recently; mainly, everything I plan out and consume my thoughts with never happens. This brings me to the new theme of this blog. My goal is to have no goals. Basically, a non-plan, plan. I'm constantly disappointed when things don't work out how I envisioned, so to free myself from the time-sucking, bad mood causing, getting me no where plan making, I'm just not going to make any more. Sure, I have some general direction but it's time for me to try something new. I've been a living example of the definition of insanity for far too long. Thus, my new motto is, wait for it, (I watch way too much HIMYM) "stop thinking and start doing." I've learned that the biggest problem with all of the planning is the inactivity. I have been taking a passive role in my life and it's time to get active. Just doing. No more thinking if this opportunity will help my resume or if that job will help me get to my dream career. I'm guilty of regret (one of the worst feelings if you ask me) and I think the biggest regret I could have at this point in my life is not trying new things and doing SOMEthing. (This is my first step in doing something) So that's what I'm going to do. I'm not only looking for work experience, but life experience, and the only way to get some is to stop thinking and dreaming about the life I want, but get out there and live it. This is just some stream of thought. I actually have things written down I wanted to mention in this post.

I'm not quite sure what the tone of this blog is yet but if you stick with me I'm sure it will show itself eventually. In the mean time, I'm going to try my best to limit the long tangents(kinda like the one above) and the long explanations for the tangents. I get overwhelmed with so many ideas and I feel the need to get them all out immediately. But for your sake and my sanity, I'm going to try to find a focus for each post. I have a lot to talk about (and I'm reminded constantly my opinion isn't always appreciated)so I'll try to spread it out. Relating to my rant about life, here's a quote from possibly the worst romcom I've ever been so bored to watch: "we're all just an adjustment away from having the life we want." Or something like that. I found it to be a profound statement for such a ridiculous movie. But that's life. You never know what amazing things you'll encounter or learn when you get out of your comfort zone or give something a chance, even though you are positive it will bore you to tears. ( It almost did)

This blog is more like a diary or cathartic release for me. So far it is also a mirror pointing out all of my insecurities and personality flaws. Hopefully I'm the only one who notices. Either way, this blog will help me sort out my thoughts and and get out of my head a bit. If you read all of this then I hope I've intrigued you enough to find out what else I have to say. I promise that subsequent posts will be more focused and about one topic. Though, I can't promise that I will ever escape writing about the craziness that is my mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment